Now is the perfect time to have a relationship health check with your partner. Whether you have been together 2 years or 20, are in lockdown together or isolating apart, take some time to evaluate your relationship and give it an overhaul.
It may be that a few things need tweaking to bring harmoney and connection back to your relationship or there are major issues that you need to work on together. Whatever your problems, having a relationship health check will allow you both to see where you can make positive changes. Doing this is not for the faint hearted, it may open up a whole can of worms that you didn’t want to open or it could being you closer together than ever before.
It’s a good idea to set time aside with your partner to do this, I appreciate that this could be difficult if you have children or family that are living with you. Make sure you have done some prep and thought about what areas you are happy with, what areas just need a little work and what areas need major change. If its easier, use traffic light colours to highlight which areas need the most attention. Green for great, amber for needs some work and red for – well you get the picture.
If you’re struggling, write down 3 things that you love about your partner and 3 things that annoy the hell out of you. Don’t overthink this but go with what comes into your head automatically. Its a good idea when you sit down with your partner (maybe with a drink or two!) to start with the positives first. Take it in turns to speak and then listen. Try hard not to interrupt, get cross or upset at what they say. Show them that you are really listening and take on board what they are saying. If you don’t agree with what they are saying accept that it is what they feel. Sometimes its hard to listen to negative comments from your loved one about yourself, especially if its not nice and makes you feel defensive. When you have both had time to talk and put across the areas of your relationship that you are not happy with, decide between you which areas you are going to work on first. It maybe that your amber and red issues are completely different or it may be that one of you has to work on one area of your relationship and your partner the other. Don’t try and fix everything at once, gaining back lost connection takes time and will not happen overnight. Last of all, set a time for another chat to assess how things have been going and what else can be worked on. Hopefully after a few weeks or even days you will start to see positive changes and feel happier, more connected, closer and more fulfilled. Lockdown should not mean unhappiness and divorce, however give me a shout if you need to!!