A week in the life of a Divorce Coach – Part 2

Tuesday Today, I was asked to attend an open discussion around supporting, educating and helping young women who are victims of domestic violence in the Houses of Commons in a few weeks time. The number of young women who find themselves in abusive, controlling, manipulative or narcissistic relationships is rising and as this may be their first proper relationship, they do not know what a loving and respectful relationship is until it is too late. As 1in 4 people experience domestic abuse or violence in a relationship or marriage, raising awareness of domestic abuse is something that I am passionate about. I read, only a few days ago, about a young mother who had been killed by her estranged husband after they had separated. Domestic violence deaths have risen and even though the government have given over 16 million to support victims across the country, some areas have little or no support. Domestic violence effects men as well as women. Although women are usually the victims, statistics show that males are more likely to be abused by other males rather then their female partner. I coached a women who was very unhappy in her marriage but was scared to leave because of the repercussions that may come from her husband. She had no money to start up again on her own and was very anxious. She was walking on eggshells as not to upset him and could not see a way forward or a way out. This feeling of hopelessness is very common with victims, they feel worthless and because of the mental and physical trauma that they are suffering and cannot see how they are going to break free. Many abuse victims normalise their partners behaviour and some people do not realise they are being abused until they are no longer in the relationship. Victims can also develop attachment bonds to their abuser and see the abuse as a form of attention or even love. It is very difficult to heal and move on from any type of abuse, it takes courage, will and determination to come out the other side, but it can be done. You emerge as a stronger and more aware person. Some victims never fully heal but they can, with the right support, move on to lead fulfilling and happy lives. So, I will be attending the meeting, as I have never been to the houses of parliament before, it will also give me the chance to have a 1-2-1 coaching session with one of my London based clients at whilst I’m there. A win, win!